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She was in my fifth-grade choir class and had wavy, jet-black hair and these little dimples that made my heart flutter every time she smiled. I did, and 16 years later, I'm still not sure if my mom was trolling me or if she genuinely thought the girl would like the pen.

My mother, displeased with my sister's pace, set up an online dating profile for her as a malicious motivator.

Her rules were simple: Every day my sister didn't apply to a job, she would message a guy of her choosing.

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