Once upon a time, I had a pretty traditional life: a husband, two beautiful children, a dog and a suburban house with a white picket fence -- until I was blindsided with divorce.
I suddenly found myself a single mom trying to uncover who I was again separate from my husband and was catapulted back into this thing called "dating." I had a closet full of oversized black "mommy" tops, a bunch of nursing bras and neutral-colored Birkenstock sandals. More importantly, I wasn't feeling attractive and I didn't know how to give signals that I was even interested in men.
If I had a dime for every time someone told me to “be confident”, I’d probably be a millionaire by now.
And as a millionaire, I’d probably have a lot of women throwing themselves at me and a lot of men respecting & admiring me.
In dating, this becomes an acute issue due to having to put ourselves well outside our comfort zone.
We wish to retreat into our shell and protect ourselves rather than take on the 'dangers' of opening up to a stranger.
While Tinder does not charge its users, it does offer a paid service to give users access to extra features.
Once again, let me stress that this is pretty common in the dating game and leads to many miscommunications, bad signals and stress that we really wish to avoid.
Confidence is the number one element both men and women find attractive in each other.
When you feel confident, you attract love and opportunity in your life.
However, feeling secure when it comes to dating after divorce is easier said than done.
One of the problems is that your identity has been linked with your spouse for so long that you forget who you are separate from that person.